亲子关系(Parent-Child Relationship)

One of the TV drama serial dialog caught my attention today.
Context:
Uncle Tao's eldest daughter left home when she was very young, as the relationship was very strained due to Uncle Tao's overly oppressive parenting style when he was a young parent. In this episode, the daughter decided to come back to work at her father's flower nursery due to her lover and 2nd sister's encouragements. However, the 3rd daughter who had the impression that her eldest sister's real motives in coming back is to grab a share of her father's inheritance, passed very hurting remarks that she's back for the money. And succeed in driving her away.

Uncle Tao, in his fit of frustration, admonished his 3rd daughter:
钱是身外物。生不带来，死不带去。
亲情，才是无价！
(Money is an external possession. You dont carry it into this world when you are born, neither do you take it away when you die. Family relationships, that's what is priceless!)

Well said indeed!
钱是身外物，命是风中烛
喜乐常知足，有情才是福！
(Money is an external possession, life is brief like a candle in the wind,
Joy with godly contentment, and experiencing love, that's blessedness!)

Rather than chase the materialistic 5Cs of the Singapore dream (Cash, Car, Credit card, Condominium, Country club), let's focus on the 5 key areas of Singapore 21 vision.
Of which one of them is
Strong Families: Our Foundation and Our Future

Live Each Moment

A famous saying goes:
Yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why we call it "the present".

Indeed, every moment is a gift given to us.
It's a matter of whether we choose to receive it or not.

For those who receive it, they will treat life as a race:
Forgetting what is behind (learning to deal with the hurts, pains, disappointments, unforgiveness, failures etc),
and straining towards what is ahead (be positive and proactive),
we press on towards the finishing line to win the Prize that life has in stored for us.

Have you treasured today's Prize and Present?
Take this time to appreciate the people around with some kind words or a smile =)

We'll See

~Author Unknown

Once upon a time, there was a farmer in the central region of China. He didn't have a lot of money and, instead of a tractor, he used an old horse to plow his field.

One afternoon, while working in the field, the horse dropped dead. Everyone in the village said, "Oh, what a horrible thing to happen." The farmer said simply, "We'll see." He was so at peace and so calm, that everyone in the village got together and, admiring his attitude, gave him a new horse as a gift.

Everyone's reaction now was, "What a lucky man." And the farmer said, "We'll see."

A couple days later, the new horse jumped a fence and ran away. Everyone in the village shook their heads and said, "What a poor fellow!"

The farmer smiled and said, "We'll see."

Eventually, the horse found his way home, and everyone again said, "What a fortunate man."

The farmer said, "We'll see."

Later in the year, the farmer's young boy went out riding on the horse and fell and broke his leg. Everyone in the village said, "What a shame for the poor boy."

The farmer said, "We'll see."

Two days later, the army came into the village to draft new recruits. When they saw that the farmer's son had a broken leg, they decided not to recruit him.

Everyone said, "What a fortunate young man."

The farmer smiled again - and said "We'll see."

Moral of the story:
There's no use in overreacting to the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. Many times what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. And when our hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts that we can learn valuable lessons from.

As Fra Giovanni once said:

"Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me... the gift is there and the wonder of an overshadowing presence."

http://www.938LIVE.sg/MCR/938LIVE/Common/Channel Info/eNewsletter/A Slice of Life/July08/23July2008.htm

Love Can Move Mountains

He is a hardcore drug addict, ex-convict, gang leader. A life cruising the highway of pain and heartache, not only to himself but also the people who care about him.

江山易改，本性难移。A leopard cannot change its spots. Prison, caning, Drug Rehabilitation Centers had no effect on him.

She was a childless divorcee, introduced to him through a mutual friend. She wasnt impressed with him at first, seeing his tattoos. But she gave him a chance. But came to a breaking point when she witnessed first-hand his gang-fight.

"I screamed at him. I told him that I was not going to be part of his life if he wasnt going to change."

And he changed.

She remembered his oath on their wedding day.
"He told me to forget about his past if this relationship was going to work. He wanted to start over."
"I saw how sincere he was about changing."

But before he could carry on with his new life, he was diagnosed with terminal stage cancer.

Today, I read this article, touched at this poignant story of a repented man and how love changed him.

Everyone makes mistakes. "To err is human", so goes this saying stating the fallen nature of mankind.
But sometimes what gets us to pick up the pieces of our life is when someone get tough with us, and yet loves and accepts us.

Love finally won in the end.

A Singapore Quilt

Next Monday is Racial Harmony Day.
My school is encouraging us to come in our traditional costumes.
I am planning to come dressed in a 中国少数民族 (China's minority tribe's) tradition costume.

But beyond the superficial act of admiring the diversity of the culture in Singapore, I am reminded that we need to appreciate the journey that we have gone through as a nation to achieve the racial harmony and integration we are enjoying now.

Yet this social fabric can be easily torn. Racial tensions can be stirred up in an instant, as we can see from our neighbouring countries.

I recall a video that I saw in NIE.
I tried my luck and actually found it on the internet.

It's a good video to remind us not to take each other's identity for granted, and to take the pledge we say every morning in assembly, seriously.


A Singapore Quilt - Threads of Peace - more free videos

Till ____ Do Us Part

It has been reported that the marriage statistics in Singapore is on the rise.

But before we put our hands together to applaud the news, I need to clarify that it is due to RE-marriages being on the rise.
That also means divorces are also on the rise, since you cant re-marry (legally) without first divorcing.
This really makes me wonder why people marry in the first place, when they have a mindset that divorce is the easy way out of their problems, instead of working on the conflicting issues in the relationship.

Now, I agree I may be overly simplistic because I am not in their shoes. But I wonder if people have an end in mind when they make such important "life changing" decisions like getting married.

Of course, the other extreme is accepting that there can be no end in mind, so cohabitation is the best arrangement. Since there is no guarantees, there need not be any commitments:
Happy? Stay.
Not happy? Go your own way.

How does it relate to us?
Plenty.

How we (young people) approach courtship and marriage in the future, we learn it during our BGR (or lack of)... now, in our adolescence.

If changing girlfriends (or boyfriends) is as frequent as changing handphones (for lack of better comparison, assuming that most youths I know change handphones rather often), then we never learn what is COMMITMENT.

If we get into BGR early without considering the appropriateness of the season (ie your age) and the consequences, we never learn to WAIT and rush into relationships TOO CLOSE, TOO SOON, with little self-control. Only to regret it later that you have not taken time to know the other person's character deeply enough. Or not allowing yourself time to develop your character and know other people of opposite gender in a healthy friendship setting.

We carry all these attitudes into our adult relationships.
Little wonder why things dont work out right?

Hmm... what are your thoughts regarding this?
Do you think young people nowadays lack commitment and self control in relationships?

Just Do It!

I like the NIKE tagline.

Today I was forwarded an interesting article which I hope will encourage you to embrace NIKE instead of JAVA.
(Java, a programming language, uses the Just-In-Time concept).
不要“临时抱佛脚”！
（抱 Mr Lam 的臭脚，还有得考虑. Haha! ）



By the way Mr Lam likes NIKE a lot and detests low-quality JAVA coffee. And I am referring to grading of projects! ;-)

Read the original article here.

Marshmallow Test

Saw an interesting article relating to self control in New Paper.
It talks about delaying gratification in terms of building discipline in finances, but I thought it applies to other areas of our life, like BGR, having fun, computer gaming etc, that young people always like to have, and have it instantly.

From wikipedia:
Deferred gratifcation or delayed gratification is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. This ability is usually considered to be a personality trait which is important for life success. Daniel Goleman has suggested that it is an important component of emotional intelligence. People who lack this trait are said to need instant gratification and may suffer from poor impulse control.

The marshmallow experiment is a famous test of this concept conducted by Walter Mischel at Stanford University and discussed by Daniel Goleman in his popular work. In the 1960s a group of four-year olds were tested by being given a marshmallow and promised another, only if they could wait 20 minutes before eating the first one. Some children could wait and others could not. The researchers then followed the progress of each child into adolescence, and demonstrated that those with the ability to wait were better adjusted and more dependable (determined via surveys of their parents and teachers), and scored an average of 210 points higher on the Scholastic Aptitude Test.

Another famous impulse control test is the "gift delay," in which children were shown a nicely wrapped gift but told they must complete a puzzle before opening it. Researchers then calculated a "delay score" based on how long the kids hold out. When independent examiners interviewed the test subject years later, they found that boys who had not delayed were "irritable" and that the girls were "sulky." In contrast, the patient boys were "attentive" and the girls "competent."

Hmmm... do you think you can pass the marshmallow test?

A New Hope

In this new season as a teacher, I am starting out afresh.

My old blog was written with other intentions and for another audience.
In a new role, there are new expectations.

Hopefully, I can be as inspirational online as I try to be in the classroom =)